Mary Claire Heffron

My Romanian Story

My Romanian story starts in January 2018 at midnight in Timisoara when my husband and I stepped out of a train on a frigid cold night. I was immediately struck by the kindness and caring of the taxi driver and other perfect strangers who helped two shivering Californians find their way to an obscure location in a residential neighborhood. By the time winter melted into spring we had completely fallen for Timisoara, made some Romanian friends, discovered great places to eat and hang-out, and discovered a yoga community in the park across from my apartment. Hearing music legend Smiley sing a hymn to Timisoara and at a joyous celebration of the 1989 Revolution that made me want to know more about the recent and past history.

While my husband was busy at the University of the West as a Fulbright Scholar, I was able to work with some Romanian clinicians on several mental health professional development projects in Cluj, Bucharest as well as in Timisoara. Fortunately before my trip to Romania, I had been introduced to four talented Romanian clinicians by American colleagues and through them met many others who were interested in my particular focus of early development, reflective functioning, trauma, and infant-family mental health.

Easter in Timisoara and trips to marvelous wild spaces like Caras Severin and fascinating cities including Brasov, Constanta, Budapest and Novi Sad convinced me that this would not be my last visit to Eastern Europe. I was intrigued by the resilience of individuals, and the mix of tradition and a quest for change. One of the Fulbright staff learned of my professional activities and suggested that I might want to consider applying for a Fulbright myself. One of my last trips in Romania in the summer of 2018 was a visit to a professor from Babeș-Bolyai University that was a step in this direction. I went to Cluj for an interview with my colleague’s dean to see if the Facultatea de Psihologie si Stiintele Educatiei would consider an invitation for me to come as a Fulbright Scholar in 2019.

I was delighted when I got both an invitation from the university and was awarded a grant as a Fulbright scholar to return to Romania and the beautiful city of Cluj where my husband and I settled in for a 9 month stay. I was leading a kind of double life as I had enrolled for an intensive Romanian course at the Facultatea de Litere and also began to connect and work with the warm and welcoming faculty in the Facultatea de Psihologie si Stiinte ala Educatiei.

The generosity and openness of Romanians continued to surprise and delight. One day my husband encountered the city archeologist who was inspecting Medieval walls that had been discovered under a main thoroughfare. This led to an invitation to hop into the ditch to inspect a room in the site, later dinner invitations, and a visit to the local archeological collection at the university. On several occasions the manager of a local café serenaded customers and turned the spot into a dance party. A delightful example of how attuned responses of those I met happened when a colleague’s husband, seeing how I was interested in humor, presented me a book full of jokes about the history of humor during the Romanian Communist Era.

However, everything did not go smoothly, After more than a month of attempting to get the proper housing tax receipt to obtain a residence permit from our landlord, we realized that she was not able to provide this critical document and we would never get the needed residence permits unless we acted quickly. We met a Romanian angel who without hesitation rented us another lovely apartment, got the paperwork in for the residence permits in 2 days, and then physically transported us to our new abode.

Still, too much time had passed for my husband to get his residence card, so he left for the U.S. in early December of 2019 with a plan to return later in the spring. I carried on with my life as a Fulbright scholar in this vibrant university city. During this year I was able to work to set up a research project in the department, hike frequently in the fabulous mountains that surround Cluj including a visit to a spectacular frozen waterfall. I enjoyed the local festivals, opera, symphony, and the quirky movies at the Victoria Cinema. I chatted with friendly people at Narco Coffee and reveled in the deep literary history of the Café Bulgakov which stands in a league of its own. I loved walking on the Boulevard Eroilor if only to see the mysterious man who even on the coldest snowy day just might be seen smiling mysteriously and playing his pink piano as snow fell gently. I worked hard in Cluj to connect with a yoga community and in the process met a series of series of welcoming teachers and many interesting people from all walks of life. My favorite studio housed in a large apartment in a very old building housed a large family of cats, sculptures created by the manager, and an adherence to classic yoga forms I had never encountered before.

In December of 2019 I visited Bucharest for a Fulbright gathering and realized just how fond I was both of this group and this fascinating city. I explored new corners of the city, attended the Christmas Market and a concert at the Athenaeum with friends from my Fulbright cohort. In February sadly the pandemic began to flair-up all over Europe and there were many discussions on-line with Fulbright colleagues and staff about the right steps to take. I was conflicted and dug my heals in thinking I would ride it out. However, one night when the army trucks began roving the streets broadcasting that everyone to had to shelter in place, I knew it was time to leave while I still could. I did not want to be rushed, so scheduled a last hike, booked a flight about 10 days in the future and started to wind down and say my good-byes. One morning on a news site, I noted that the airline that I had booked to return to the U.S. had cancelled all flights. In a bit of a panic, I called the US State Department emergency line the Fulbright staff had provided and they quickly arranged for me to leave that very same evening. I arrived at the airport breathless and dazed from a whirlwind of packing, good-byes, and dropping off things I wanted to gift to others. With the pandemic raging, it was a complicated trip. I mourned the end of my time in Romania, the incomplete project, emerging friendships, and many untraveled miles I had planned for spring and summer to do special workshops and see yet unseen sites.

Despite my shortened stay, I brought back enduring connections with colleagues and friends and a resolve to return to reconnect and continue to explore the hidden corners of Romania and maybe find my own special spot in a secluded “sat”. As I picked up my American life again, I realized that teaching and consulting on-line with colleagues in Romania opened ways to stay connected. My formidable Romanian teacher even agreed to continue my once a week lessons so I would be ready for my next Romanian adventure whatever shape or form that might turn out to be. I look forward to return to this intriguing county so full of beauty, complex history, and the warmth, openness, and humor I have encountered with such frequency.